You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
