No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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