i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
