Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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