p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
