R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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