peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize