Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
