did you get engaged???
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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