We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
