But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
