The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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