I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
