The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize