fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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