is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize