my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
