Sponge bath it is.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
