I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
