Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So drunk its hurt
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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