I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
