I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
