Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
