I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
