perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
