There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
