I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
