Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
