Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
