no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
