Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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