I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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