Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
