I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
