her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
