I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
