My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
