My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
