Someone shit on the floor
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
