The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
