then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
