seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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