Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
