And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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