first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
