i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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