you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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