I think my vagina is haunted
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
