u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
