Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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