I CAN MOONWALK!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
