Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize