Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
