Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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