I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
