I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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