wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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