those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
