Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize