Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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