oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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