i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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