His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
