I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
